Yesterday was pretty great - I went hiking with some friends, but the real highlight of the day was my discovery of a spectacular kitsch object.
On the trip up, I noticed something on the side of the road - it looked like a horn. My friend suggested it might be a bell. Being the mad musician I am, I decided to get off at an exit, loop back, and try to grab this Mystery Musical Thingy.
This necessitated a walk along the highway, which was somewhat unnerving, and not helped by the Freshly-Roadkill’d wild turkey I had to walk past. At least I’m a more visible target… right?
Fortunately, my worries quickly disappeared as I approached the Horn/Bell/Whatever. When I first saw it from a distance, I thought it was a horn half spilled out of its case. As I neared, I realized it was actually next to a book. Great, I thought, a book and a horn, what a find! As I drew even closer, I saw there was a cord, and a lamp. Even better, a horn, a lamp, and a book!
Imagine my surprise when I discovered this wasn’t a pile of three discreed items at all, but instead, this was some sort of unlikely Horn/Book/Lamp amalgamation. Those of you unable to view the attached image will just have to imagine, because this is a pretty amazing piece of… er… something. I almost want to get a brandy snifter, a leather recliner, and a small library for my “den,” and smoke a pipe while watching the stock ticker under the pale glow of this… thing. You get the idea. It’s an amazing mix of “refinement” and “horrifying trashiness.” But the photo speaks for itself.
Oddly enough, the horn does work, in that if I make farting noises with my lips in one end, they come out amplified at the other. Given my horning skills, that’s about the most I could ask for from a highway roadkill Horn/Book/Lamp.
Now I just need to find a suitably awful shade… and maybe a smoking jacket.
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